How to Offer Support to a Loved One with an Eating Disorder

This is such a common question from parents or loved ones who are trying to support someone with an eating disorder.

No one ever said providing support comes naturally.

What prevents someone from offering good support?

1. Fear

You may feel fear that if you say the wrong thing or trigger them, they will self-harm, hate you, run away, whatever it may be. Yes, those things could happen, but do you know what else can happen? The eating disorder can win. The eating disorder can cause them to withdraw from their loved ones, starve themselves, force them to act upon thoughts that their authentic self does not want to do. Do not let fear stand in the way of supporting your child or loved one.

2. Guilt

There is no one to blame for the development of an eating disorder. Eating disorders can develop due to many things, one strongly being genetics. An easy analogy for this is- the genetics loads the gun, the environment pulls the trigger. Environment is something that is very difficult to control. This is not your fault, it is not anyones fault.

3. Pain

It is definitely painful watching someone you love treat their body in a harmful way. Eating disorders effect the individual mentally and physically. It takes a team of multi-disciplinary professionals to treat it, and one of the multi-disciplinary professionals is you. Family and friends play one of the largest roles in their loved one’s eating disorder treatment.

4. Misunderstanding

As mentioned before, no one asks for this illness to fall upon them. If you’re struggling supporting a loved one with an eating disorder because you simply do not understand, educate yourself. There are great resources at nationaleatingdisorders.org

After you conquer the barriers preventing you from providing good support… what do you do?

1. Be present with them at meals and snacks, help distract them by talking about light topics that are unrelated to food.

2. Make sure they have accessibility to food and beverages.

3. Text or write them uplifting notes.

4. Make sure they make it to their appointments with their treatment team.

5. Be their rock- consistent and strong

6. Do not talk about your own issues with food. Keep topics of diets, calories, weight, your eating struggles taboo.

7. Ask them how they are doing around meal times, or in general.

8. Empower them to tell their treatment team about behaviors they are acting upon.

Those are just a few ways you can support someone with an eating disorder. The other most important thing to do is to support other supporters. Do not knock each other down because you are all a part of a team and will succeed through positive affirmations from one another.

I would love to hear your stories in how you support your loved one! Post in the comments below, or send me an email at isabelle@bamboonutritionrd.com

Intuitive Eating

What is this non-diet way of eating that everyone keeps talking about? Can it help me lose weight?

Intuitive eating is based off of 3 pillars:

1. Emotions

2. Instinct

3. Thought

Think of these three pillars as forming a triangle. This means that the rational thoughts can interfere with your emotions and your instincts. If you can find the balance between the three, this will be your best ability to listen to yourself. You will be able to follow your survival instincts and feel hunger and fullness, as well as listen to your rational thoughts and your emotions.

Intuitive eating is more complex than “Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you're full.” It is not merely a substitution for a diet or a weight-loss program. Instead, Intuitive eating is a form of freedom around food. For most, it is to have more pleasure and satisfaction when eating. For others, it is to regain control over food and learn how to achieve the balance between the 3 pillars, emotions, instinct, and thought.

We have natural instincts at birth that slowly get lost as we get older. Societal influences and social pressures begin to change the way we eat and how we perceive our health and well-being. Intuitive eating is a journey and takes time and practice. It is not a quick-fix or a program that you practice for a couple weeks then move on to the next trendy diet. Intuitive eating is meant for those who have come to the realization that diet trends are not for them and they would like to begin letting their body be their guide again rather than following “rules”.

“Rules”… this brings me to the liberating piece of intuitive eating. There are no rules or “good and bad” foods. All foods fit and have a purpose for either satisfying your instincts or emotions. Satisfaction is connected to hunger and fullness as well as making peace with food. It cannot be very satisfying to eat foods that you think are “bad”, “wrong”, or “not allowed.” So how can you get satisfaction from those foods? You must work on taking away those labels from foods. There are no “good or bad” foods. All foods serve a purpose and everything is best in moderation.

If you’re going to your favorite restaurant, would you eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on your way?

If you’re going to your favorite restaurant, would you eat nothing all day?

Intuitive eating is finding the balance between receiving full satisfaction while keeping your body nourished and energized.

If you would like to begin working towards becoming an intuitive eater, one great place to start is purchasing the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. If you feel you may need more support, look for a non-diet, or Intuitive eating, and HAES registered dietitian and/or therapist.

If you’d like to work with me directly, ask me about my Intuitive Eating Book Club and Skills Group!