“How do I eat normally?”
“What is eating normally?”
Clients ask me this question often. Its almost like clockwork. When beginning to hang up the diet culture hat for good, there are a lot of unknowns. You may feel exposed, confused, lost, vulnerable, like you made a mistake and will fail.
Good news-- you cannot fail at intuitive eating.
When you’re on a diet, you have a set of rules, dos and donts to follow. It feels comforting to have those boundaries set and created for you. After all, isn’t that why we go on a diet? To take the hassle out of making food decisions on our own and be told what to eat? With each diet, we seek more and more rules. We seek specific instructions, down to the number of almonds to put on our salad.
Too bad diets are created to fail. Technically speaking, if your diet didn’t work for you, its not because you failed but because you succeeded. Backwards right? Think about that some more.
If your diet failed, you actually succeeded.
Now you’re at the point where you want to give up dieting. Poof! All the rules are gone. All the restrictions are gone. No one is telling you what, how much, or when to eat. Gone. Gone. Gone.
How does that feel? Liberating? Freaky? Exciting?
It’s okay if you’re getting cold feet. That’s normal. What intuitive eating is asking you to do is to trust your body, honor your hunger and fullness, lean into those cravings, and legalize all foods. That’s a lot to ask, I understand.
Quick reminder—you cannot fail at intuitive eating.
Intuitive eating is just a fancy way of saying “normal eating.” For many of us, the last time we were normal eaters was back in grade school. We can vaguely remember eating all kinds of foods, loving food and not having to think about it all day long. We ate when we were hungry, we turned food away when we were full. What a peaceful life!
You can get that life back!! Yes, you are wiser, smarter, know more about nutrition and food now than you did before. I am a dietitian, I know better than most that nutrition is important and necessary. Although, you can be a normal eater and eat nutritious foods.
Dieting is what destroyed that period of normal eating for you. In comes the rules, good and bad language, shame, guilt, weight cycling, etc. Out goes the peace.
It can feel very scary to give up dieting. The next steps you take will be hard, but oh so worth it. You don’t have to do this on your own. I highly suggest having someone in your corner. Family, friends, therapist, dietitian, coach, whoever it may be. Someone to hold you accountable, to talk to and share ideas and fears with.
2 things I recommend to my clients are:
1. The Intuitive Eating Book and/or Workbook (Amazon) and
2. The Hunger Fullness Scale. See my other blog post to learn more about this scale and how to use it.
Meanwhile, there will be ups and downs when you begin this process. That is totally ok! I want you to take your time. Unlike a diet you are relying on yourself to do this, not a set of rules.
I am so excited for you! Many of my clients tell me later on that they could never think to go back to another diet. It is liberating and refreshing to never be dependent on diets to bring you happiness again.
If you’d like some extra support during this process, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I love working with clients on their intuitive eating journeys! I cannot describe how rewarding it feels to help you achieve a positive relationship with food.