Eating in the bedroom relates to the conversation around emotional eating. Not eating in the bedroom is a habit that can be a a silent positive change. Meaning, it may be a rule created out of desired cleanliness, or to improve the participation in family meals, but has a positive influence on your relationship with food.
Not allowing food in the bedroom can be a difficult boundary to set, and maybe you’re confused on why you even need to set this boundary and the importance of upholding it.
The reason eating in the bedroom is something myself, an intuitive eating dietitian, would not recommend is because the bedroom is a space for you to be emotional. This is a space where you can be tired, sad, happy, wind down for the night, use for self-care, or perhaps it is a space for privacy.
Bringing food into the bedroom combines food with emotions. This can lead to bored eating, emotional eating, bingeing, etc.
Eating in the bedroom can also create secrecy and promote hiding. Often times emotional eating or disordered eating behaviors thrive in isolation. It is important to learn how to cope with your emotions without the use of food, or how food could actually be a positive tool rather than a behavior.
Bringing food into the bedroom combines food with emotions.
Setting Boundaries Around Food In The Bedroom
Ask yourself WHY.
If setting this boundary is important to you or the wellbeing of your family, what are your reasons for wanting to set this boundary? What are the facts that support your reasonings? Knowing this information will help you receive more clarity behind why this is an important issue and will prevent creating the boundary out of spite, resentment or seeking control.
What are the intentions behind why someone might eat in the bedroom?
This is an extremely important question because someone may have reasons for eating in the bedroom that is completely unrelated to disordered eating behaviors. For example, perhaps someone has night sweats, cramps, or wakes up starving. Nutrition might be essential for you in those moments and therefore it would be wise to have food on your night-stand.
Another thing to think about, if you’re setting this boundary for your teen, is how important is it for your teen to have privacy? Are they eating food in their bedroom because they are wanting to eat in secret? Or are they just looking for privacy and at the same time, they need a snack? Teenage years are difficult and its not uncommon for a teen to need their own space to unwind, feel independent and have time to themselves. I have teen clients who I support them eating in their room because at least they are getting in nutrition and honoring their hunger cues, but they are eating mindfully in a space where they can be alone and re-energize.
Is this a cleanliness issue?
Majority of the parents I work with, this is their main concern. If this is the reason why you prefer food not to be consumed in the bedroom, then ask yourself the first two questions. If you feel this issue goes beyond cleanliness, then uphold this boundary, but do your best to make the kitchen or whatever area of the house is ok to eat in, a safe and welcoming space.
If this is solely a cleanliness issue, make this clear and create a plan with your loved one on what the expectations and consequences are. The biggest thing I have to say here is make sure your loved one knows this is not a food issue — what they’re eating, how much they’re eating, when they’re eating, etc. But that it is solely a cleanliness issue— leaving dishes in room, not throwing wrappers away, smells, crumbs, etc. This will help reduce a lot of shame and potential embarrassment if you are clear about the concern.
Ultimately, whether this is for your child, family member, or yourself, the goal and intention here is to help you rekindle your relationship with food and provide yourself with spaces in your home where you can implement better coping skills and be vulnerable.
This information is also provided in Snack With A Dietitian.
Snack With A Dietitian is a 10-15min live video on Bamboo Nutrition’s Instagram (@bamboonutritionrd) where we have a snack and discuss a topic related to intuitive eating, parenting, or eating disorder recovery.
Bamboo Nutrition is a Columbia, Missouri based group practice of registered dietitians all specialized in a specific area of nutrition. Looking to work with a dietitian or to learn how a dietitian may provide guidance and support to your life? Contact us today!